Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars

I’ve finally gone and done it.  I figured out a way to use this amazing Cookie Butter, aside from just eating it straight out of the jar with a spoon. I dipped apple slices into it, I’ve spread it on toast, I’ve even gone as far as mixing it into my oatmeal.  But, finally a true recipe with the glorious goo.

Cookie Butter is Trader Joe’s version of Biscoff spread.  It’s like gingerbread cookie taste meets peanut butter texture.  It is actually made out of biscuits, oddly enough.  Scooch over peanut butter, I’ve got a new lover.  It will rock your face off, so be prepared.  Don’t under estimate it.

Simple Homemade Coleslaw

Nothing goes better with BBQ than good old fashioned coleslaw.  We aren’t talking about the kind in a bag and a dressing that comes out of a jar either.  This is strictly business and it is going to get professional.  With July 4th right around the bend and approaching fast I thought it would be a good idea to make a nice little coleslaw, to show my American roots.  I get caught up in the moment of Independence Day.  I always have to stop myself this time of year from driving around in my husband’s truck with two full size American flags strapped to the bedside, whipping in the wind.  Toby Keith blaring from the speakers with the windows rolled down, rocking cut off jean shorts, aviator shades, and drinking an RC Cola.

I take this holiday very seriously.  I feel like it is one of the only ones that is not over done through the consumer industry.  It is all about the food and the fireworks.  Give me a burger with a side of S’mores and a sparkler and we are talking.   You will not hear a peep out of me the rest of the evening, scouts honor.  I will slip gently into a food comma and ogle my sparkler and the world will drift away.

Bulgar Summer Salad

Have you noticed that these grain salads are like a cult following?  People are rah-aving about them!  May I pretty please be the leader to this chivy of peeps all coming out of the wood work, abuzz and gabbing about grain salads?  I think this creed should have a signature regalia.  Something that will distinguish our band of followers.

The KKK sport white sheets, lucky.  The Black Panthers get to wear berets, even more fun.  But, I think our signature uniform piece needs to step up the game and show the world we are serious about this love and devotion. Propeller hats, it just  has to be done.  Canary yellow propeller hats to be exact.  This way, the whole congregation is loud and proud about our faithful follwing to the summer grain salad.  Plus, no one will want to mess with us when they see a legion of people, all donning propeller hats.

Asian Turkey Lettuce Wraps

Heyy Yo.  No it’s not been raining in the Pacific Northwest for the ENTIRE month of June.  My skin is not completely translucent.  I don’t resemble a mole coming out of her hole when I finally catch a glimpse of sunshine.  Eyes squinting and darting around.  My hair isn’t completely matted down to the side of my head, looking eternally dank and soggy because of all the pelting rain I’ve been trudging through.  I haven’t forgotten what it is like to wear shorts and actually be hot.  I think if I ever did wear shorts again my legs would serve as a sort of reflective shield and richoect any sunlight off unto innocent passers-by, rays ablaze, perpetually blinding them in its devastating wake.

Blueberry Crumble Bars

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy.  But here’s my crumble, so try it maybe?  It’s hard to look right, at you baby, but here’s my crumble, so try it maybe.  Your stare was holdin’, crumbly pecans, blueberries showin’ hot night, wind was blowin’ where you think you’re going, baby…

So I haven’t been listening to Carly Rae Jepsen or anything lately.  I gotta keep up with all the cool kids, know what I mean?

Black Bean, Spinach, & Red Pepper Quesadillas with Spicy Shrimp Skewers

I was walking into Trader Joe’s the other day and spotted a gold  Cadillac with a bumber sticker that said, “I own this glorious car thanks to glorious womanhood”.  It had a custom decal on the driver’s side door; a silhouette of a woman hands upraised in a shower of shooting stars.  It was empowering.  Plain and simple.  I thought, this lady has a sass all her own.  Any woman bold enough to roar around town like that has to be majestic.  I must meet this wonderful creature and shake her hand.

Well, I never encountered her, even though I perused through the isles somewhat stalker-esq.  My head swiveling around every which way, I knew the second I caught a glimpse of this dying breed that I would know it was her.  Sadly, my day ended in defeat.  But that brought on a totally new idea for me.  

Dark Chocolate Caramels

Yes it can be done.  I did it so I live to tell about it.  I like to think of myself as an adventurer.  I like to really dance around dangerous territory and fear nothing and no one.  In my kitchen that is.  I have no problem walking on the wild side from time to time.  I like to wear cowgirl boots with sundresses and obnoxiously large flowers in my hair.  I like to whip up strange combinations of things that might be considered taboo.  Maybe I’m just a fierce woman.

I was jonsing for some dark chocolate with caramel.  You all should know nothing will ever taint my love for chocolate.

Grilled Pork Chops with Chipotle Rub & Pineapple Chutney

After devouring these chops I’m pretty sure my husband wanted to leave me.  He wanted to run away with this piece-o-pig and never look back.  After dinner he sat on the couch, unconsciously gleaming to himself.  He was happy, I mean really happy.  He found what everyone searches for all their lives; true love.  The pork chop gave him complete and utter satisfaction.  He worked for it, that’s granted.  But…how do I compete with this?  I’m doomed.

Pineapple Kiwi Chutney

I love the interweb.  It’s just glorious.  I can get sucked into food blog after blog.  Scavengering for my next inspiration to use for a new recipe.  This is what happened with these little diddies.  I fell down a rabbit hole and found these.  They are never something I would have thought to create.  But after seeing the recipe I was intrigued and knew that it had to be done.

The flavors are just perfect.  It would pair lovely with anything grilled.  Light, fresh, and so easy to whip up.

Honey Roasted Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies

I’ve official crossed over the threshold into the land of amazing.  It happened this weekend.  I climbed this tree of epic proportions limb by limb until I reached a state of celestial happiness.  I’m never coming back to the real world.  I’m going to sit up in this heavenly tree house and look down upon the real world and wonder why anyone would choose to live there.

These cookies.  They did it, they ruined me for life and I’m never going to be the same.  Oh, and my husband.  He is a contributing factor to my state of Veruca Salt spoilment.  These two enablers maimed me.  It’s their fault and I don’t feel bad about not ever entering back into the real world.