Whiskey Beans

There are a few things that come to mind whenever I think of a big pot of baked beans.

1. Switchblade Sam-that bum from Dennis the Menace.

2. “Baked Bean Teeth”

The two really go hand in hand.  Switchblade Sam-the dirty derelict drifter from Dennis the Menace (Christopher Llyod) was one of my worst nightmares.  Ole Switchblade had dirty fingernails, tattered slovenly clothes, stringy long hair, and he even had baked bean teeth.   All of these things contributing to his lurid appearance.  I used to fear he would steal me from my bed in the middle of the night, peep into my windows when I was home alone, and spear an apple right out of my hand with his grimy shiv.  I eventually outgrew this immense fear of the hobo, thank God.  That was about my junior year of college when I finally put my big girl pants on.

Gooey Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Banana Bars

I know that all you need is another peanut butter bar recipe.  But this is different, I promise.  This one has motorcade, drives a big rig, and has a unicorn tattoo on her back shoulder blade.  She is one very bad, trashy lady.  But sometimes shoddy things can be ravishing.  That is what this lady is like.  She is wicked white trash.  You’re going to want to face plant right into this lady bar.   Then she will take you to the bar.

Homemade Calzones With Butternut Squash & Spinach Pesto

Put your stink eye away.  Hop off that judgement train and welcome to the wild, wild west.  I like to shoot from the hip and have no holds bar when it comes to dinner.  I let that freak flag fly and just go with the flow.  When my cowboys jumps the ship and goes out of town, I revert into a vegetarian and things get wild here.  Brace yo’self.

Tonight I jammed out to Steely Dan while making dinner.  Probably because my cowboy loves Steely Dan and I missed him.  It was pretty much medicinal.  I’m pretty sure it was Steely Dan that made these calzones so amazing.  He really did the trick and they were everything I have ever dreamed of.

Pumpkin Oat Banana Muffins With Cinnamon Maple Glaze

Oh my gosh, right?  I thought these were needed.  I stood in the kitchen this morning scratching my armpits with a bleak look on my face.  I needed something amazing to start my day off right.  It was the weekend after all.  Weekends call for leisurely breakfasts.  Pinkies up, it gets fancy around here.

Why is it that people only bust out the pumpkin in the fall?  Well I welcome pumpkin into my life with arms wide open.  It can come into my kitchen and bless me with it’s tastiness anytime it pleases.

Whole Wheat Pizza Dough

Raise your hand if you love pizza?  BUSTED…everyone.  Oh, except my father.  Stanley’s of this earth do not covet pizza like the rest of us.  But that is because he is a total aberration who does not like melted cheese.  I know, settle down.  Everyone is entitled to their own taste.  I don’t know if I could physically survive without melted cheese.  You could lock me in a darkened cellar and if I was given a ration of fried cheese, you wouldn’t hear from me for hours.  I mean HOURS.  I would quietly nibble away content as ever, that is until I ran through my supply.  Then there would be hullabaloo.

Cherry Vanilla Sherbert

There is nothing better than ice cream on a warm sunny day. Or ice cream on a cool winter night, snuggled under a blankie watching Entourage.  Or riding shotgun on a country road listening to Tom Petty and just licking away on an ice cream cone.  Or walking down the boardwalk eating a waffle cone.  I can actually enjoy ice cream in any situation.  Go ahead, give me a scenario and I’ll tell you how I could enjoy ice cream in the given scene.  I truly believe you cannot eat ice cream with a puss on your face.

Cheesy Broccoli Cauliflower Soup

Sometimes I don’t have anything to say.  I have no words.

There is nothing to utter, murmur, or convey.  Except for the fact that it is currently 2:56 in the PM and I’m still in yoga pants.  I have yet to shower because I haven’t gotten there.  Yes, I worked out at my 5:15 AM workout class, but that stink has long since blown off of me. It’s a hair washing day and I hate those.  I saw a random peanut on my counter as I walked into the kitchen this morning.  I ate it, what did you think I’d let it go to waste?  What was it doing there?  All I know is it had dropped anchor right there on the counter.  This brought on an epiphany.  I’ll share later.  You just stay tuned.

White Chocolate Raspberry Bread

Ever have one of those days?  You know exactly what I’m talking about.  The day that will live in infamy.  The day that seemed to drag on, and on.  The day that knocked you down and just beat you up.  The day that served as a battle field and all you needed to do was make it out alive.  That day.  I had one of those.  I managed to make it out cognizant, just barely.  I straggled myself home and this is what I did to heal myself…

Spring Veggie Tortilla Pizza

This was one of those dinners.  I had been at the Farmer’s Market with a girlfriend that morning and saw the most beautiful bunch of asparagus.  I knew at that moment, that moment when time stood still and the world made sense; I wanted a fresh veggie pizza,  and it was going to have this angelic asparagus as the lustrous star.

I am a sucker for lighter than air pizza crust.  So I sat myself down and said, “why not try these tortillas?”.  Just give it a whirl and see where that road will lead me.  Well it lead me straight to Heaven town.  No place on earth like it.  Go there, you won’t want to ever return.

Homemade Peanut Butter Cups

I think it’s about time in our relationship to come clean.  I have been a peanut butter cup junkie for as long as I can remember.

Really, I recall Halloween night of every year of my youth, sitting down in the living room after we had gotten home from trick-or-treating and dumping out all of my loot.  From there I would assess the situation, and start to take inventory.  My sister would do the same thing, and so would commence the annual trading and dividing of the assets.  I always bartered my lame-o Hershey’s Crunch bars for her Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Chocolate and peanut butter, there is no better combination.  The two are meant to be together.  Married and blissfully happy for all eternity.  But, really anything with peanut butter is a shiny penny in my eyes.  If you don’t like peanut butter or chocolate, I’m not sure how our relationship can continue.  Just playing, just playing.